Archive for May 16th, 2010

BANANA - Build Absolutely Nothing Anywhere Near Anyone

I can exclusively reveal that the first housing pledge of the new coalition Government is a promise to build three new homes by 2020.

That is a joke – I hope. Labour claimed they were going to build three million new homes by 2020 and how we laughed. Under our shamefully slow and ineffective planning system, it can take months to get permission for an awning over the guinea pig cage, yet alone for new homes.

Under Labour at least its last housing minister John Healey was allowed to sit in on Cabinet. But Tory Grant Shapps, who finally steps out of the housing shadows, appears to have a junior post. Okay there are bigger fish to fry short-term like the budget deficit, but if you house the nation properly, a lot of economic, social and environmental problems are addressed.

Shapps said: “Having shadowed four housing ministers, it is an honour to finally be the Minister of State for Housing.”

Shapps deserves it, but no amount of youthful zest and obvious belief in what he is trying to achieve disguises the fact that he is wetter behind the ears than a Labrador who has retrieved a shot pheasant from a swollen river and then jumped under a power shower.

I would like to remind Shapps that before the election he said: “I want us to be a nation of housebuilders. Judge me by results. We want to build houses to drive economic prosperity. We want a faster planning system that is pro-development.”

He also promised a definition of a zero carbon home would be announced “with weeks of being elected.”

‘Ah, but we have a coalition government.’ You can already hear the excuses. Mind you, the Lib-Dems will not be shy about pushing the green agenda, although they also wanted VAT on new homes. They don’t seem to have grasped that without housebuilders on board who is going to build the low carbon economy?

The Lib-Dems showed how committed they are to housing, by not even bothering, despite repeated invitations, to send a representative to the Home Builders Federation Question Time debate before the election. They will be pushing Shapps to do something to bring the thousands of empty homes back into the market, before they countenance any shiny new homes.

The Lib-Dem colour is yellow – the same as a BANANA. Build Absolutely Nothing Anywhere Near Anyone. Be strong Mr Shapps, be strong.

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