Walking the streets of Windsor in the royal county of Berkshire in England in the company of one of the greatest rugby players of all time is hard work, having to stop every five minutes to talk to somebody.
Except the person doing the stopping and insisting on a chat is not a star-struck rugby fan after an autograph, but Zinzan Brooke himself. The legendary All Black number eight cannot pass a building site without having a word with a labourer. “Hi mate, what stone is that? Reconstituted? That’s just going to crumble.” The workmen looked like prop forwards who had gone to pot, but they hadn’t a clue who the Kiwi legend was and were probably half-expecting him to ask if they had any work going in the housing downturn.
As an Englishman, I have no idea of what it is like for Zinny to stroll the boulevards of Auckland, but in leafy Southern England, outside of the rugby cognoscenti, Brooke is better-known for his building skills, than his talents and achievements on the rugby field. In the shadow of Windsor Castle the locals are more interested in spotting an elderly woman called Elizabeth wearing a scarf to hide her crown than one of the most outrageously gifted sportsmen ever to take up the oval ball game.
To the building game later, not to mention the breakfast menus at his new Bed & Breakfast hotel. Naturally I want to talk to him first about rugby and specifically his views on New Zealand’s two Tests against France. We meet before the Italy match. Just as well, as otherwise this feature would probably be littered with expletives.
“Don’t you just love the French? Or hate them? They turned up with a young side, but played like seasoned campaigners. There was a worrying lack of intensity from New Zealand in the first Test. Some of the new guys like Liam Messam were found wanting, but having identified the young talent you do not just drop it,” said Brooke.
Brooke knows a bit about back-row play and says the likes of Messsam should be persevered with.
“You use the Super 14 to pick on form and Meesam was outstanding for the Chiefs, but Test rugby is a big step up. You do not become a bad player overnight. You do not immediately drop new players, you put them back on the horse, telling them what they did right and what they did wrong and not to let the wrong happen again. That’s coaching.”
Brooke may now breathe the English air, but he is all too familiar with the rugby claustrophobia in New Zealand.
“Supporters do not find it acceptable for the coaches to say they are rebuilding and as we know All Blacks fans always know best. It puts everybody under far too much pressure, if even one defeat becomes unacceptable to the New Zealand public.”
The heat on the side will become unbearable when New Zealand hosts the 2011 World Cup, although at least in the middle of this four-year cycle, the All Blacks cannot be accused of peaking between World Cups.
“The Tri-Nations is critical for all three countries, but difficult to call. Anyone can win it, but I would hate to think of the public reaction if we come last.”
Back to Europe and Brooke believes the Heineken Cup, with its greater intensity, is a higher standard of Test preparation than the Super 14.
“The Heineken Cup is better and more entertaining than Super 14.” For Brooke it is not just about the rugby, but the flag the rugby is played under.
He cites the club loyalty and fan base in the English Premiership, comparing it to the New Zealand franchises.
“Why don’t the Auckland Blues, given the clubs they are drawn from, have 35,000 fans? A New Zealand region can never be the same as a club,” said the Auckland Marist, although in Ireland for example Munster does a pretty good job of combining its club forces under one provincial banner, without diluting the intensity of Shannon against Cork at club level.
Working for Sky TV, analysing southern hemisphere games gives Brooke time to reflect on the rugby world. But not much time. Wife Ali has just given birth? To their fifth children and there are three businesses to run.
His company Valentines Homes builds stylish apartments in the English Home Counties, doing both renovations and new builds, and as a plumber and gas fitter Brooke knows his trades.
He built up a buy-to-let portfolio back home in Auckland and at one time had 27 properties. He has signed more autographs than any other plumber in the world.
His brother and fellow All black Robin Brooke was a site foreman before moving into supermarkets, while brother Simon, a carpenter, works with Zinny in England.
Brooke has just opened a Bed & Breakfast in Windsor with 10 bedrooms, having gutted the original building. He designed it down to the last detail with Ali doing the furnishings.
“Frances Lodge is a bespoke B & B offering really wholesome, healthy foods. We have a New Zealand chef,” said Brooke.
‘Cook me some eggs bitch’ however will not hang above the door in homage to that iconic Maori gang culture film ‘Once were Warriors’ and the waitress will not be called Suzie, the South African at the centre of food poisoning claims before the 1995 Rugby World Cup final.
“I still swear to this day that it was food poisoning,” said Brooke.
Talking of food, we were too late for a breakfast of homage muesli and New Zealand honey, followed by poached duck eggs and asparagus. So we headed to Brooke’s local pub for a pie and a pint. Worryingly he ordered a Foster’s. Australian lager - what next? Will the JAFA accent turn into the Queen’s English 12 years after moving to England to join Harlequins? Fear not he waxes lyrical about a new Steinlager brew and a New Zealand Sauvignon Blanc remains his wine of choice.
Not content with housebuilding, a hotel, rugby punditry and coaching Windsor Under 7s, Brooke also has a labour hire business, recruiting labourers and craftsmen for the building trade. The company name: the Number 8 Group.
If you are planning an English holiday, book into a hotel in Windsor. You might recognise the big bloke spinning the plates into the dishwasher with long cut-out passes and drop-kicking eggs into the frying pan.
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